Good relationships don’t just happen. I’ve heard it many times.
“If I have to work at it, then it’s not the right relationship.” This is not a true statement, any more than it’s true...
You want to know the 7 choices that not only improve their relationship but can also turn a failed relationship into a success.
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF
This is the most important decision you can make to improve your relationship. This means learning how to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs.
This means that instead of trying to get your partner to feel happy and safe, you will learn how to do this with your own thoughts and actions... This means that you must learn to deal with kindness, care, compassion, and acceptance instead of making mistakes for yourself.
It will always make you feel unhappy and insecure, no matter how wonderfully your partner treats you.
For example, instead of being angry with your partner about the feeling of abandonment when you are late, busy, and not listening to you, it is not sexually turned on, and so on Instead, you would discover your own feelings of abandonment and discover how to leave yourself.
When you learn how to take full, 100% responsibility for yourself, you stop blaming your partner for your harassment. Since the number one cause of relationship problems is blaming a partner for their own unhappiness, it is essential to learn how to take care of yourself lovingly for a good relationship.
KINDNESS, STRUGGLE, ACCEPTANCE
Treat others the way you want them to treat you. This is the essence of true spiritual life. We all want to be treated with love - kindness, compassion, understanding, and acceptance. This is how we have to treat ourselves and treat our partners and others the same way.
Never forget, every relationship, and every problem depends on two people.
Relationships thrive when both people treat each other kindly. Although there is no guarantee, often the kind treatment of another person brings kindness in return. If your partner is constantly angry, judgmental, careless, and unfriendly, then you should focus on what it is that loves you, instead of it would return to anger, blame, judgment, retreat, resistance, or obedience.
Kindness to others does not mean sacrificing yourself. Always remember that the most important thing is to take responsibility for yourself instead of blaming others.
If you are consistently kind to yourself and your partner, and your partner is constantly angry, blaming, withdrawn, and unattainable, you must either accept a distant relationship, or You need to get out of the relationship. This is often the best option.
You can't change your partner - you can only change yourself.
LEARNING INSTEAD OF CONTROL
When a conflict occurs, you always have two choices about dealing with the conflict: you can open up to getting to know yourself and your partner and explore deeper issues of the conflict or try Winning, or at least not losing, as a form of controlling behavior.
We have all learned many open and subtle ways to try to control others to behave the way we want them to anger, blame, judgment, kindness, obedience, care, resistance, withdrawal of love, explanation, teaching, defense, lie, denial, etc. Every way we try to control it creates more conflict.
Remembering to learn instead of being guided is an essential part of improving your relationship.
For example, now people have two main fears that are activated in relationships: the fear of abandonment - the fear of losing the other - and the fear of being absorbed - from losing themselves.
When these fears are activated, now people immediately defend themselves against these fears with their controlling behavior. But if you decide to know your fears instead of trying to control your partner, then your fear will eventually be healed. This is how we develop emotionally and spiritually - by learning instead of controlling.
CREATE DATE TIMES
When people are in love for the first time, they make time for each other. Then, especially after they get married, they get busy.
Relationships need time to thrive.
It is vitally important to devote specific dates to being together – talking, playing, and making love. Intimacy cannot be maintained without time spent together.
GRATITUDE INSTEAD OF COMPLAINTS
Positive energy flows between two people when they have a "gratitude attitude".
Constant complaints create heavy, negative energy, which is not fun. Practice being grateful for what you have instead of focusing on what you don't have. Complaints create stress, while gratitude creates inner peace, so gratitude is not only for emotional and relationship health but also for physical health.
FUN AND PLAY
We all know that “work without play makes Jack a dull boy.” Work without play makes for dull relationships as well.
Relationships flourish when people laugh together, play together, and when humor is a part of everyday life. Stop taking everything so seriously and learn to see the funny side of life. Intimacy flourishes when there is the lightness of being, not when everything is heavy.
And the last one:
A wonderful way of creating intimacy is to do service projects together. Giving to others fills the heart and creates deep satisfaction in the soul. Doing service moves you out of yourself and your own problems and supports a broader, more spiritual view of life.
If you and your partner agree to these 7 choices, you will be amazed at the improvement in your relationship!
What are you doing if you get older and you just want to remember the past?
Get access to learn more wonderful secrets by James Bauer. Just click here now and enjoy.
It is time to look into the future, and see, what your life would be like if you had that ideal relationship and if it lasted all the way into your old age.
What is the importance of looking at your current life as if you were looking back on it from the end of your life?
If you pretend that you are looking back on your life from your rocking chair, it will help you considerably in deciding what kind of a life you want to live, today. It will make what’s actually important to you more clear while helping the less important things disappear.
When you look at your life from your current perspective, it is very easy to get caught up in the material aspects of it.
When you look back on your life, as if you are already in the future, survival issues fall away, and what you really want in your relationships becomes clearer. With this in mind, we are going to take you into your future. From there you will learn about what is really important to you in your relationships in the present.
Imagine that you met and married your dream man and that you`ve grown old together. You have celebrated your ten-year anniversary, your twenty-year anniversary, your thirty-year anniversary, and so on. It has all been wonderful.
You are an elderly woman, sitting in your rocking chair. Your husband and life/partner are in his rocking chair and are sitting next to you. Look at him, and smile to yourself as you feel what it’s like to have had a wonderful, fulfilling, long-term relationship.
You know what? Everybody dreaming about it!
Thinking back over all these years- over the joys and triumphs, over the difficulties and challenges – what it was that made you able to stay together and be happy through all of it?
I hope you liked my thoughts today! Believe me, you have to know more. You can get access here.